Archive for May, 2006

What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican

Thursday, May 18th, 2006

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is a impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

Supporting “Executive Privilege” for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.

Support hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

more fun in american politics

Monday, May 15th, 2006

conservatives can reconcile some pretty weird things, case in point — people in the current administration let leak that valerie plame was cia agent and conservatives behave as though it was no big deal to out one of it’s soldiers in war time.

but get this
a secret source told the reporters over at abc news to “get new cell phones now” because the govn’t is trying to find confidential sources.

so what is it, republican big guys? is it okay to leak confidential information to the press or not? make up your mind, you’re waffling worse than john kerry.

death and taxes on holiday

Monday, May 15th, 2006

in the freewheeling world wide web, a dose of reality is rarely as real as when the taxman comes to call.

several tourist destinations filed suit against the big boys of internet travel for their failure to pay hotel taxes.

we all know the travel sites negotiate a better deal on the rooms than we the consumer are pay at their sites, and that works well because it’s almost always cheaper than buying direct.

however, what the suit alleges is that the big boys have only been paying tax based on the rate that they paid, and not on the rate that the sold at.

this will be an interesting issue to watch

the groggyjava show :: #024

Wednesday, May 10th, 2006

PAMPOW Wine-soaked dub stylee spiked with rock and ska. Shownotes @

werd, 1/2 bottle of wine soaking a mix of dub stylee rock and reggae


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